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- BUSINESS, Page 69I See, I Want, I Get -- Maybe
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- How to get ahead in the herd, and other dinosaur wisdom
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- Put away those dress-for-success books. Forget the
- management mystique. The key to thriving in the corporate jungle
- is understanding dinosaurs. So say Albert Bernstein, a clinical
- psychologist in Portland, Ore., and Sydney Craft Rozen, a
- former English instructor at Clark College in Vancouver, Wash.
- In Dinosaur Brains (John Wiley; $18.95) they examine the
- prehistoric reptile that lurks inside every employee like an
- evolutionary time bomb. Beneath that fragile fabric of reason
- called human intelligence, they argue, beats a powerful engine
- of lizard logic that demands instant gratification and lives to
- dominate. While the dinosaurs are long gone, their brains "are
- the foundations on which our own brains are built."
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- To understand how corporate America works, maintain the
- authors, one must understand that "the Dinosaur Brain has some
- very explicit ideas about how companies should be organized and
- run. Whoever is at the top has all the rights and gets all the
- goodies. The people at the bottom have to do what the head
- dinosaur says if they want to stay in the herd."
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- Who is a dinosaur? Anyone who has ever acted on instinct
- and called it common sense. Everyone who has ever been zealous,
- fiercely loyal, ruthless, or even submissive or terrified at
- work. In examining the corporate stomping grounds, the book
- dredges up some worthwhile wisdom from the tar pits:
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- Impressing the Top Dino. When dealing with seniors, do not
- try to dazzle them with your brilliance. "The boss's idea of
- intelligence is someone who listens to him." Do not tell your
- boss your personal problems. "Old dinosaurs like the strong,
- silent types." Stuck with drudge work? Perform first; get out
- of it later. Otherwise, the boss may bite your head off.
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- Lizards in Love. The authors note that dinosaurs tend to
- fall hard when boardroom sparks inspire thoughts of bedroom
- larks. They step up their Nautilus routines and become sharper
- dressers. Soon, romantic reptiles are dreaming up urgent reasons
- to call the beloved at home. And no matter what they think,
- everyone else knows what is going on. Despite the pitfalls, the
- authors do not proscribe all office affairs. After all, they
- argue, some are the real thing. But they offer a few valuable
- tips on damage control. Example: Never transfer the beloved to
- your own department, unless you want to destroy office morale
- -- and possibly end up facing a sexual harassment suit.
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- Dealing with a Raging Reptile. First of all, control your
- own reptilian response. Do not counterattack, and never flee.
- If the dinosaur attacks during a meeting, try gazing calmly at
- the beast. Co-workers will remember the outburst, not the reason
- for it. If the dinosaur is your boss, though, you must either
- learn to take abuse or make plans to leave. Whatever you do,
- never call for reinforcements. "A dinosaur whose subordinates
- have gone over his or her head is the most dangerous lizard in
- the jungle."
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- The authors maintain that there is nothing wrong with a
- little irrationality now and then, so long as it is kept within
- certain bounds. Even an occasional show of anger can be a sign
- of respect, but be sure to pick on someone your own size, or
- larger. No kicking the pet salamander.
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